A TransGender enter the Soap Opera World!

First..Let me say that I am not a big time watcher or fan of Daytime soap opera's! But, lately, I been reading online about this character on "All My Children" called "Zarf". Yes..That the character name "Zarf"...Rhymes with "scarf" and do I have to say it..4 letters and starts with "b"..

Well, anyway back on track.. The soap opera.."All My Children" is trying to do something that was never done before in any television series, introduce a transgender character and focus on this character's journey from man to woman And...This character is named "Zarf", who is a very outrageous rock star (reminds me of David Bowie..Ziggy Stardust) and is involved romantically with the Bianca (a lesbian character).


Now I don't know if the show plans to take "Zarf", (supposedly pre-op) all the way from a male to female ("Zarf" to "Zoe"), or if the show just using this plot line to try to raise rating! But the reaction that I have came across on forums (etc) has been mixed and have been humming with debate, with many writing they are confused that "Zarf" is both a transgender person and a lesbian. Maybe he is just a male with a unusual taste in style and wardrobe who like a challenge.Tryingg to have intimate relationship with a Lesbian!!

An online poll that I came across has swung between support and condemnation. Well at least this topic is being discussed!

I Need Your Help!

Hey there: I am doing my best to try to add new content to this blog on a regular basis! I would like to add more content on a more regular basis and I seem to be having a "blogger" block, right now! So I need help from you.. the reader!

Do you know any help links that I gain info from?

How about any helpful forums?

Maybe a website or blog, that is informative?

Maybe a topic that I can discuss?

Or what about a personal story from a TransGender or a friend of one?

Feel free to post your link, tip, suggestion..anything will be helpful! Oh yeah, if your wondering about AMANDA she is still around (probably reading our blog right now!..Hey, AMANDA but she is real busy, always doing something!

IS THERE A CURE FOR GENDER IDENTITY ISSUES?

    I have been doing a lot of reading and researching on "Gender Identity Issues"..And, I was surprised at the so "called" cures for "Gender Identity Issues". These cures involved such "techniques" as institutionalization, shock therapy, confinement, violence, verbal abuse, etc.

    No matter what type of so called cure is used, I firmly believe that they are nothing more than human rights' abuse. No adult or child should be subject to such cures in an attempt to make him or her conform to social stereotypes, especially when sometimes these issues are part of the human learning experience!

    Most of these so called cures are designed or thought up by mental health professionals have no experience or training to work with transsexuals, transgenderists, crossdressers or anybody who is questioning their gender.

    Remember, not too long ago, these same types of "experts" believed that being a gay or lesbian was abnormal or transitional! How much damage was done to these people by the so called "experts"!

    If you are wondering if you are suffering from "Gender Identity Issues" or know someone who might be questioning their "Gender Identity".find an actively practicing gender specialists or clinical sexologists!

    Oh yeah! Did I come across a cure for "Gender Identity Issues"? The answer is a most definite..YES..Acceptance, accept them for who they are, not for what you want them to be.

CAN YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE..TAKE THE QUIZ!

It has been a while since I posted on this blog, and to take a break from all this serious stuff! I decided to share with you a quiz that I came across recently! It is a short quiz, 16 different pictures of either a "Female" or a "Shemale"..The quiz is self-explanatory... After you do the quiz, just close the page and post a comment with your score! Oh yah! (LOL) you won't find any picture of Britney Spears (as mentioned in an earlier posting)

CAN YOU TELL? QUIZ

BRITNEY SPEARS ISn't A HERMAPHRODITE!!

A couple of years ago, when Britney Spears first became immensely popular, there was a story going around that Britney Spears was a Hermaphrodite! Well after the pictures that are going around the Internet...Britney is obviously a female! and only a female!...You may be wondering what this has to do with the theme of this blog! Well those kinda of rumours are meant to belittle, hurt or ostrasize someone for whatever reason but today as I read and study up about these types of things, I realize that these kinda of rumours ae childish..So what if Britney was a Hermaphrodite, that doesn't mean she is not human, capable of loving and or being loved, doesn't deserve to be treated with the respect and dignity that any human deserves!! I would like to thank my friend.. Amanda for helping enligthen me to the a new world where each of us is unique!

TOP TEN CLUES YOUR A TG. (TransGender)

PART ONE

To misquote a famous comedian "You Might Be A TransGender"...IF..

(#1) You have an overwhelming desire to wear clothes of the opposite sex at a very young age..It comes and go's in waves.. but never goes away. Same desire, year after year!

(#2) Sexual arousal always occurs during cross dressing for a variey of reasons, whether you act upon it or not usually dictates if your a CrossDresser... or a TG. A true TG feels comfortable and satisfied with themselves resembling a female/ or male without the need to masturbate.

(#3) Most male TG's take on very masculine orientated careers.. policeman.. fireman.. military..bricklayer..they try to outrun it... but they never can. It only gets worse with age.

(#4) You will find yourself being the "class clown",the "life of the party".. you live to make others around you laugh.. this is so others around you, can't see that you are really crying inside. Being a "clown" helps to hide the pain and shame of being a TG.

(#5) Most TG worry too much about what "everyone will think". To the sad extent that close to half of TG end up in a pine box rather then face the world as who they should have been born. Being a TG means your life expectency has suddenly been cut in half living in NORTH AMERICA... either you do it yourself or someone violently does it you... because they don't, won't or just plain can't accept who you are. Who you really are!! Pretty sad don't ya think.


AMANDA

TOP TEN CLUES YOUR A TG. (TransGender) pt2

PART TWO

(#6) The day you stop caring about what other people "think" is the day you finally realize your a TG.

(#7) Shows like MAURY..Sally Jessy...(remember her)..Etc..That showcase beautiful
transexual women from all over the world...You never miss an episode..You have to watch.. But..In the end..You only end up in a fit of rage and jealousy because these "guys" are living their lives that you can only dream of.

(#8) Your become addicted to your "hormones"...Your body needs it so badly...You feel complete...You feel happy...Not high...I call it the "Tail wag syndrome"...Your a happy puppy. When you realize you can't give them up...Again...Your a TG.

(#9) If your willing to give up your marriage and access to your kids.. Loose your job over this...Get laughed at or run the risk of everyone around you losing respect for you...If your still willing to do this because it "feels right".. Big surprise.. Your a TG.

(#10) When your having "intimate relations" and you feel like you are never satisfied.. "Ripped off" ... "Hosed".. Etc...Because you feel like your in the wrong body.. YOU GUESSED IT........Welcome to world of becoming a TG.

In the "system", I'm considered one of the "lucky one's... I'm not the norm...I pass with flying colors ...I have tons of support... ya da ya da ya...But yet,I still find this unbelievably difficult and emotionally draining. I have the utmost respect and admiration for those who do make up the vast majority of those who Don't pass so well. I am humbled by your strength and determination.

I don't watch DR.Phil, the man is getting rich dishing out COMMON SENSE plain and simple, Something the world has seem to run out of. Every "shrink" I have been to has sent me home packing saying . "You don't NEED us" .

I was just an average "guy' born in a average city... Born with a birth defect.. My brain is not male.. It is female and it took me half a lifetime to finally realize and accept this. I have lived (#1) thru (#10) and many more in my life... Nobody wants to be like "this".. IT IS YOUR WORSE NIGHTMARE GROWING UP.. Because you don't understand and most like myself fight it.

The good thing is.. Acceptance towards TG's is growing rapidly. For myself.. Being open and honest is the best way to go.. You never did anything wrong.. So stop sneaking around feeling embarrassed. I'm going to do my part in spreading awareness and educate those who don't understand.

The more the world talks about it and accepts it...Future generations born with "this" will seek treatment instead of a fatal way out.



AMANDA

Amanda's Story!!

Here is the brief story of my life!
At 5 years old, I knew there was something wrong with me..10 years old, I started cross-dressing...15 years old started buying my own make up and clothes...I repeated this pattern of buying girl's clothes then throwing them out every year till I was 19..Then, I fell madly in love with a girl..I figured "it" would go away..Boy was I wrong..About 8 months before wedding, I told my future wife, that there was something was wrong with me, but I didn't really understand what was wrong with me!..We both hoped "it" would go away..Both of us were wrong...

At the age of 25, I became a daddy, and I hit rock bottom...I became a miserable suicidal ignorant prick..I knew deep down that I needed help but didn't know where to turn??.."How could I be a good father when I didn't feel like a man."..I started to play "chicken" with trains on my motorbike or on snowmachines..I truly didn't care if I lived or died...

The turning point...I went to another city (much larger than were I live) for mental assessment by a specialist..I was diagnosed with GENDER IDENTITY DISORDER..I bummed out even more..I became more miserable and depressed..I finally packed up and separated from the wife..

I lived full time as "chick in a much bigger city till I finally figured out and accepted what I really was..I started to take the hormones...I,finally became happy again with myself..I felt complete..I felt normal..BUT I was missing my family too much...So, I made a choice and cut my hair off and moved back to where my family was..I was trying to live happily ever after NOT doing anything about it...I started weaning myself of hormones..My hair started falling out...Again, I panicked, got f**ked up and lowered the dose of my hormones but never stopped completely..My body became female, but I lived as male, it didn't work and my wife left me..Her leaving my, broke my heart in a million pieces..I have accepted why she left me.. But I will never get over it..Life feels like a slap in the face to me..All I wanted was a normal happy life..I thought I had it..Lost it.. I am currently fixing a biological mistake hoping it will finally bring me a happiness like I have never felt before..Will it?..I dunno, I guess only time will tell..


I am currently going more and more as a women every day..Once the laser hair removal is complete and my name is legally changed...I will be living as female for everyone to see..No more hiding.. No more shame or embarrassment..I am tired of hiding..I never wanted to be like this and I never did anything wrong..I am still the same good hearted likeable person..Just in a different package...
Only time will tell if I did the right thing...I am definitely becoming more happier with who I am. There is no more anger and no more frustration left in me..I must be doing something right!!!!!
Amanda

Comments about Amanda's Pic

When I posted Amanda "girl's night out" picture (2 posting previous), I have recieved about 20 comments that I refused to post. Why? Simply, I won't publish comments that ask for personnal pictures of her topless (unless we are talking $1000.00 U.S. lol) or asking for pictures of her proving that she has the upper parts of a female and the lower parts of a male (maybe $10,000 U.S. l.o.l.) or any question asking for her address (no price period..seriously) etc. I won't even mention the comments that I find degrading, ignorant and simply offensive..Now I will post comments that are of a positive nature, informative etc....After all, I am Amanda's friend..not a pimp or a opportunist!!! The only two basic reason that I started this blog was to (1) provide information and personal learning about MTF (TransGenders) and (2) to help raise funds for my friend's operation!

"Doing this for the Money?"

Even though I haven't posted anything in a while other than "tweaking this blog"..(proud to say that I have added a "Paypal" donation button). I have been doing research by checking out "Trangender Forums", reading the posting and checking related websites! I can honestly say that is plenty of information out there, a lot of medical, physiological, biological/genetic, I found a lot of the information useful and helpful, the info that I could understand anyway! A lot of the information I found purely boring.
I also mentioned that I have been checking out "forums" and websites...So far I think, I checked out 10 forums or groups related to being a Trangender and a lot of the posters links to their "sites"...Now, what I am going to say is strictly my opinions and observations...I am not too impressed with the majority of "websites" (notice I said majority)..Here comes my opinion...A lot of sites of these MTF or FTM were just plugging a "escort agency", or a she/male (not comfortable with that term) porn flicks...Now I can understand doing these site or film for money and I believe everyone has a right to survive BUT this "sex industry" things doesn't help those who don't want to be objectified or considered sexual novelties...On the plus side, I did find a few very good sites/blog that are written by Transgender's who just wanted to share their strength's, hopes and experiences with those of us like me who want to be informed, I even made a "donation" on some sites for the simple fact that I learned and learning about another human being and as far as I am concerned! There is nothing wrong with giving a person "a hand-up" as opposed to a "hand out"

P.S. Proud to say that "Amanda" promised me that there should be some up-coming postings

Please Enjoy the Latest "Pic"

This is the latest "pic" of Amanda getting ready for a "girls" night out!
Now, If this "pic" doesn't bring in any comments, well then I don't know what will!

To "stealth" or not to "stealth"! by "Amanda."

My first posting so let make it controversial...Is stealth the best way to go.. or is honesty the best policy.! In the United States, most experts preaches " deep stealth"... How ever the USA also have the highest murder rate among TransGender's in the world.... hmmmmm! To "STEALTH or not to stealth... is honesty the best policy when it comes to your own personal safety as a transgendered female. For years "deep stealth mode" has always been considered the best approach to "starting over"... howeverI believe I strongly disagree. I'm Canadian and have been in the "system" for almost 7 years..and I'm about to go "full-time". I'm considered one of the "lucky ones". I have been told.I pass with flying colours with or without make-up on. No surgeries of any kind.. hormone enhanced only. .I just don't pass..I attract! I'm not going to walk around with a neon sign around my neck declaring my gender however I'm a firm believer in "NOT" leading people on because that will only lead to a potentialy dangerous situation. The insanely high murder rate among tg's in United States is my wake-up call to maybe... honesty is the best policy being a tg....... any thoughts on this??? "Amanda."

Things that I am learning about being a "TransGender"

Even though I found movies like "Tootsie" or "Mrs.Doubtfire" and sitcoms like "Bosum Buddies" extremely funny. I am realizing that these are just stories made to make money, and are far from reality! The men in these movies or sitcoms dress and act like women out of necessity, to spend time with their kids or to live in a college female dorm (I believe that is the storyline for "Bosum Buddies"). Another misconception that I am overcoming is that my friend Amanda. is not a draq-queen, or someone who dress like a woman for publicity /or money!.."Amanda." is just a person who is born more feminine than masculine, and deserves the right to live the life that "Amanda." wants to live! I realize that my understanding, (right now) is basic but I got to learn to "crawl" before I can "walk"!...The more that I learn about being a TransGender, I more I learn that I haven't even touch the "tip of the iceberg"! In simplier words, I know "sh*t" about what "Amanda." been or is going through, but I am willing to learn and help in any way that I can!!!

Glossary

To help you find this site more informative. I have made this basic glossary to explain some of the terms, that you will find on this blog!
(1)MTF (male to female)
(2)FTM (female to male)
(3)Transgender (TG)..are basically people who were assigned a gender (usually at birth and based on their genitals), but who feel that this is a not a true or an incomplete description of themselves. May include other categories, such as transsexual; cross-dressers; tranvestite; consciously androgynous people; genderqueer; people who live cross-gender; drag kings ; and drag queens.
(4) "Going Stealth"..: After an a person has transitioned, this person may choose not to reveal their transsexual status to those around them (for example, to coworkers, friends, neighbors, etc.); this is referred to as "going stealth" or "being stealth."

There are plenty of websites that have more scientific definitions of the above-mentioned terms, such as http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender#Transgender_Identity etc.

A note from the "webmaster"

To start off, let me explain why I decided to be the "person behind the scenes"! I have known "Amanda" (the star of this blog) for a lot of years now! To be honest, I known "Amanda" in more of a work environment than as "hang-out buddies". A common question that I received was "is that a girl or a boy, that you working with?". This was quite the common question especially from people who didn't know "Amanda" and who noticed "Amanda" when we worked together! My only answer was that.."Oh! you mean XXXXX, (a laugh) he just one of those pretty boys like Bon Jovi (early 80's)" Little, did I know that "Amanda" was in transition, his masculine features were slowly becoming feminine..L.o.l...I just thought that he was just "one of the guys" who had to pluck their eyebrows, either a "uni-brow" or he was metro-sexual!...Anyway, too make a long and somewhat boring story short (my side anyway, "Amanda" has a more interesting story)! I had the opportunity to work construction out of town with "Amanda" and another friend. We were staying at a basic hunting camp, and after the first day of hardwork and a good meal, we were having a conversation which drifted to about our "X"s", somewhere in the conversation, I made the statement that "a woman's mind and thinking were different than men", which "Amanda" replied "I know, I have a woman's brain"! I didn't know how to respond to that reply, so I nervously laughed. and "Amanda" continued to explain to me (very simply), about the changes happening to him. Now we worked together, out of town for over 2 weeks, so I had plenty of time to learn and try to absorb this "new world" that my friend was entering! During this conversation, I mentioned that I had hands-on experience about making websites and was familiar with blogging, and how I am making money from my sites and blog! Also somewhere in our previous conversation, "Amanda" mentioned, how much "the operations" was going to cost and how at this time, "Amanda" couldn't afford it, but was serious about this operation. Well I am sure that you can put together (my web experience) and "Amanda" situation and come up with the reason, why we are working on this blog!. To end this posting, I am positive that "Amanda" is sincere about the operation and hopefully this blog will fullfil "Amanda" dream!!